Bernard and I have been keeping track of every minute of breastfeeding, every mililiter of formula, and every diaper change with Eleanor and Miranda. I average between sixteen and eighteen sessions of breastfeeding in a twenty-four hour period, and each session is about twenty-five minutes long. Yes, I feel like a mother pig feeding her piglets. Breastfeeding has taken over my life and no one told me how hard it would be! I suspect this is because for some women breastfeeding is very natural and easy, and for the rest of us, no one wants to be discouraging about it.
The main problems I’ve had are, initially, delayed milk production, and then subsequent low milk supply, although I suspect that if I only had one baby, my milk supply would be adequate. The first forty-eight hours went okay. I was breastfeeding every two to three hours, and I received help from the nursing staff with latching. The girls would suck for thirty minutes at a time, but sometimes up to an hour. I ended with sore nipples fairly early on because I let the girls basically soothe at my breast for as long as they wanted. Multiple nurses commented that their latch was good, and not to worry that my milk hadn’t come in yet.
By about sixty hours, I was instructed to start wearing my nursing bra because my milk would come in “any minute now”. Then, seventy-two hours went by, still no engorgement. By this time, nurses and the pediatrician were starting to comment on the girls’ weight loss and jaundice. In addition, the girls were getting extremely frustrated, pulling very hard on my nipples, with no result. The nurses and I couldn’t even express any colostrum manually. Finally, Bernard and I decided to start supplementing with formula by the end of the third day.
Now, I don’t really want to go into the whole formula thing, but the bottom line is that needing to give them formula was very upsetting to me. Granted, I was sleep-deprived and overly emotional, but watching the girls get formula from Bernard or my sister, Effy, made me feel defective as a mother. A few days ago, just making the formula (mixing the powder and water together) brought me to tears. Now, Bernard makes all the bottles.
For the rest of the hospital stay, I continued to breastfeed every two to three hours, and we would give them formula if they were still hungry. By ninety-six hours, the last day at the hospital, I still hadn’t had any sign of my milk coming in. The next day I went to a breastfeeding support group where a lactation consultant weighed the babies, had me breastfeed, then weighed them again. Miranda gained no weight after 15 minutes of breastfeeding and Eleanor gained 0.2 of an ounce (about 6 cc) after 30 minutes of breastfeeding. Again, examination of my breastfeeding technique revealed no problems. The lactation consultant then said, “You might be one of those women whose milk just doesn’t ever come in.” This was a bit shocking because everything you read and learn as a pediatrician says that all women, except those who have had major breast reconstructive surgery, can breastfeed. She then suggested that I try a herbal remedy to increase milk production called fenugreek, and also, a prescription medicine called metoclopromide.
That night, I started to be able to express some colostrum. I also tried fenugreek which made me extremely nauseous and drowsy. I refuse to try metoclopromide because as a neurologist I’ve seen many patients suffer from the adverse effects of that medication. Basically some patients suffer from dystonia after taking metoclopromide–their muscles become extremely stiff, and they go into these contortions of the head and neck.
Essentially over days 7-10, my milk production gradually increased. I still never experienced “engorgement” where the breasts rapidly swell with milk. When I breastfeed, I have to massage the ducts in all parts of the breast to encourage let-down. This means that I can’t breastfeed both babies simultaneously, hence, the sixteen to eighteen sessions a day of feeding. Formula now constitutes about 40% of their intake. I’m hoping that this will gradually decrease. The important thing is that the girls are doing well and they take pretty easily to both bottle and the breast.
Hi Agnes,
Don’t feel so discouraged about breastfeeding. I have not heard anyone say that it’s easy (from any of my friends, even second time around). It was the most difficult thing i’ve ever experienced… harder than labor i’d have to say. and you have two! i thought naively that i can just put him there and he’ll do all the work… not so. if your nipples are sore, make sure you put on lanolin (breastfeeding kind) after each feeding. i also had very low production at first and had to supplement b/c he was getting so yellow and needed biliblanket. but fenugreek and pigs feet with peanut totally helped (i have the recipe if your mom wants to make it). i drank a lot of soup all day long (fish soup then chicken soup). i ate more than before and never went on a diet. it was really discouraging in the beginning that i could only pumped 1oz each time (without feeding). but it picked up over time. i was a little crazy in the beginning that i would pump after i fed every 2-3h (even at night). nothing came out but i thought it would increase supply. it was a lot of work. so i’m not sure what really did the trick. you can try taking one capsule of fenugreek and then work up. try not to feel bad. any amount of breastmilk is better than none. for one week i had to pump and dump b/c my mom was feeding me some chinese herbal thing that made lucas wide awake all the time so he took formula that whole time. that was when i found out that he can’t tolerate enfamil, similac is ok but good start is best b/c it’s more like mommy’s milk.
i felt like a cow for a long time. pumping is also not easy. and doing it for 1 year is hard. i could only sleep on my back that whole year. i can’t sleep in on the weekends b/c i’m so engorged that i leak and they hurt. but you know, it’s so satisfying to see your baby get chubbier and it’s so nice to have that closeness and bonding that no one will ever experience except you. i really missed the time i breastfed him. i only breastfed him for about 1 mo b/c afterwards, he didn’t want me anymore since we started feeding him breastmilk with the bottle. so don’t feel bad if you can’t continue breastfeeding him. some of my friends did it for 4 mo, some more, some less. breastfeeding is a personal choice and if you can’t do it, good thing we live in a time with formula. as long as our children is healthy, that’s the most important. we all grew up on formula and nothing ever happened to us. at first i was really determined to not feed formula at all b/c rick has DM and i don’t want Lucas to get it too. but it was not possible b/c he wasn’t getting enuf from me. so i had a choice of either insist on exclusive BF or allow him to cont loosing wt/worsening jaundice. we also tried feeding him formula at night so that he can sleep longer (that’s later). that’s a myth. he slept just as long whether formula or breastmilk.
you know i think you don’t feel engorged b/c you’re constantly feeding both of them. until you work up to supply both of them, i doubt you’ll ever feel engorged. i only felt engorged after 4-6h of not feeding him.
hope you feel better.
Hi Agnes,
Hope you’re doing better by now with breast-feeding. I found it pretty difficult too at the beginning and that was just with one! I think after awhile breast-feeding is so convenient but certainly not at the beginning. You must be so exhausted. I hope with giving the girls formula you’re able to let Bernard do some of the night feedings so you can get at least a 3 or 4 hour stretch of sleep.
With Isaac I had an adequate supple of milk but just barely. With Theo, I had so much more milk even at the beginning. It seemed so ironic because I was so much more nervous with Isaac, being the first, so it didn’t seem fair that I had less milk with him. With Theo I was much more relaxed AND there was a lot less to worry about!
Pumping is a total pain but you get into a rhythm of it. I found that the kids didn’t sleep any longer when they had formula either, although we tried that too!
About the pooping with the diaper off, when Isaac was about 2 months old, Art leaned down with his face pretty close to wipe and he got some poop in his eye! Isaac chose just that moment to let loose. Art freaked out at first but then we both laughed our butts off!
Glad to read your blog, thanks for doing it.
Jessica