The kids are getting to be quite competitive with each other. So much so that you can’t praise one in front of the other. Basically, praising Miranda is the same as insulting Eleanor and vice versa. Also, they’ve become very jealous of my attention. A few weeks ago, they raced to me after their bath, when all of a sudden Miranda took a chunk out of my thigh. I was completely shocked because she didn’t seem to be upset, and the only thing that came to my mind was to put her in time-out. I then had to go to the bathroom to deal with the bleeding and Bernard carried out her time-out.
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Miranda’s supposed to be sitting on the stool, but she’s too busy flipping out. She doesn’t want to be in time-out. She wants to read before going to bed, and there is a Barney book on the ground, just off camera. She’s saying, “Want that one! I want–I want–I want this. I want the Barney book! I want the Barney book right now! (???) I need that. I need that. I need that! Get it! Get it! Stand up! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Aaah!”
We ignored her, and she eventually settled down. Later, I realized that she probably bit me because Eleanor had been clinging to me all evening and pushing Miranda out of the way when she tried to get my attention. The same thing happened at school the next day. Miranda took a chunk out of Eleanor’s back. The preschool teachers were quite shocked because she hadn’t bitten anyone in school since she was in the toddler room. One of the teachers said, “Well, she’s been bossed around by Eleanor for the last six months. Eleanor treats her like a baby and tries to feed and dress her. Today she tried to show her the “right” way to play with a toy. I think it was the last straw for Miranda.”
We didn’t tell anyone at the new school about their sibling interaction, but this is the feedback that the new teachers gave us, “Eleanor always wants to be near Miranda. She wants to do projects and puzzles with Miranda. Miranda, on the other hand, wants to do her own thing. During naptime, Miranda tries to sleep by pulling the blanket over her head, but Eleanor tries tickling her arm or her leg. We had to separate them for naptime, and we’re trying to encourage them to do separate activities.”
This twin interaction has turned out to be really complex. It leads me to believe that Eleanor will be traumatized when we separate them for first grade, but that it will probably be the right thing to do for Miranda.