I wrote the following before I read the comments on my last blog entry. I really appreciate the comments, by the way. More thoughts on Eleanor’s eating:
- Crying during mealtime does not encourage enjoyment of food or enjoyment of eating together. Therefore, I don’t think mealtimes should be punitive. Bernard, however, has many memories of sitting at the dinner table alone for over three hours because he refused to eat something and couldn’t leave the table until he ate it.
- Bernard and I are really worried that she’s going to continue to have a severely limited diet, e.g. we can’t go to a restaurant because there’s nothing that she will eat. Therefore, we can’t just give her the things she likes. We need to continually encourage her to eat new things. I guess just not to the point of tears.
- If she doesn’t want anything we offer her, then I guess I would give her something that she will eat. What’s to keep her from just holding out until we give her something good? Nothing, I guess. As she gets older, we can involve her more in preparing meals, making choices, and learning about healthy eating. I think as she gains more control, she’ll be willing to eat more things. I hope, anyway.
- Our concerns with this plan are that Eleanor is going to treat mealtimes like eating at a restaurant, i.e. we’ll be stuck making a whole separate meal for her every night. I guess if she doesn’t want what everyone else is eating, we choose the secondary option, and if she doesn’t want that, then too bad.
Hi Agnes,
I haven’t visited your blog in some time, but I’m glad I checked it today, because we have gone through the same thing with Abigail (who is now 2.5 years). The foods she eats are different from Eleanor’s, but the basic struggle is the same. We have come to the point of always offering her what we’re eating for dinner (unless it’s really hard to chew or something we haven’t introduced yet due to allergy risk), but having easy to prepare back-ups just in case (e.g., hard boiled egg, fish sticks, cream of wheat, etc). That way, she may not be eating the most balanced meal, but at least it’s relatively benign and doesn’t make us short-order cooks. Giving her a multivitamin also helps increase peace of mind.
Another thing that has worked really well for us is making fruit smoothies in the blender. I put 6-8 oz of milk in with a banana, blueberries, strawberries, and a teaspoon of ovaltine, and it becomes a snack she really loves. She gets way more fruit than she would if she had to eat it all with meals.
We never punished her for not eating something–I agree that once mealtimes become a battle, you’re making it worse. We’ve found with Abigail that multiple trials of the same food over time is definitely important. Sometime she’ll try something she wouldn’t before. Other times she’ll refuse something she had eaten previously, but then later comes around again… The good news is that she is growing, healthy, and certainly not suffering from a lack of energy! She has also really increased her diet in the last 6 months, which is encouraging.
Good luck, and let me know if you have any ideas for good “vegetable smoothies”…
Jenny
Hehe, that was me too! My parents would turn out the lights and the whole family would retire to the family room, leaving me alone in the kitchen eating in the dark. When I learned to ‘walk’ I remember sliding out of the high chair and hiding so I wouldn’t have to eat. The worst part was that I hated rice and we had it every night :).
Anyways, my brother has done something so that my nephew will drink water. It’s cute. We hold a cup to him and say “cheers!” He holds up his drink and we clink glasses. Then both sides have to take a drink. It makes drinking a game.