Agnes went back to work on Thursday last week, and so we’re trying something new. For the entire past month, Agnes’ mother has been coming to our house to take care of the girls from about 8:30 to 5:30, Monday through Friday. While her mother is here, Agnes has been able to catch up on sleep from the night before. Now that she’s back at work, Agnes can’t take this daytime nap any more, so we’ve been worried about if she’ll be able to get enough sleep to function properly at work. At the same time, it’s clear that the daily schedule here has been wearing on Agnes’ mom. So, starting last week, Agnes’ mom is taking the girls to Irvine from Wednesday evening to Friday evening. This give us 48 hours during which we can catch up on sleep, run errands, and get things done that we have had difficulty getting done. Agnes’ mom gets to avoid the commute to our house.
I have to say that this past week’s experience was a little surreal. Since I’ve been working from home, it was the first time since the girls were born that I had been away from them. We packed up a bunch of supplies, put them in the car and Agnes’ mom took them away. Miranda was sleeping. Eleanor was looking around. Afterwards, it was quiet — no music from the mobile, no cries, no fussy sounds. The house also seemed more empty. No carseats sitting on the living room floor. No changing pad. No box of diapers. I found myself still listening for signs that the girls need us for something, even though I knew they were no longer here.
For the most part, this new arrangement does what it’s supposed to. Agnes didn’t get quite as much sleep as she intended on the first night because she was too busy getting things ready for her first day back at work, but I can only imagine that it would have been harder had the girls been here. We also made it out to the gym together. With the girls, it’s been impossible for us both to go to the gym at the same time. During those times where I’ve gone to the gym by myself, I’ve felt rushed, like I should try to get home as soon as possible and help keep the girls from ganging up on Agnes. On Thursday evening, we made dinner, ate, watched TV, and went to sleep at a reasonable time.
On Friday evening, we went down to Irvine to pick up the girls. It seemed like such a long time since we had seen them. We looked them over to see if anything had changed. They seemed happy enough. They’re young enough that they don’t feel anxiety from being apart from their parents, or around people they don’t recognize. This arrangement will probably be harder on them (and us) when they get old enough to know that we’re not around.
Maybe some time down the line we’ll take these two days to do things like see a movie, or go out to dinner, or maybe even go to the rock gym to do some climbing. I don’t know. I know that we need this extra time, but I have to say that being away from our kids is really hard.